Battle of the Spurs - Holton, KS

Don't judge a book....

So, I'm at church again for the first time in months. Not sure how it's going to go. Came to a location that is similar in size (number of members) to White's Chapel, but already it doesn't feel like WC. I'm reminding myself over and over and over again that you can't judge a book by its cover. I don't know, though.
Don't judge.
Don't judge.
Don't judge.....

The Fastest Rising Population in the US (Originally Published on 12-22-2008)

Well, it's official. I heard today that Utah, my state of origin, is officially the fastest growing state in population in the United States. It's population grew 2.5% between July of '07 and July of '08. Nevada, the state that grew the most last year, was only at 1.8% this year.

California remains the most populous state, although it also had the highest shift of population - or people leaving California to move to other states. Also, Michigan and Rhode Island were the only two states to decrease their total population.

So, why do I care about this? First, it's one of those random things that is fun to claim - "I'm from the fastest growing state in the US!". Second, Electoral Numbers are NOT static. The amount of votes a state gets in the Electoral College are based on their population, and there are great changes afoot. You would think, with Texas gaining this highest number of people (don't get "number" mixed up with "percentage", which is what Utah has), that conservatives near and far would be celebrating. However, the demographic of people that are moving so rapidly into the Lone Star State are NOT a demographic that strongly supported Republics. In fact, it is quite the opposite. So, come 2010, things could get real interesting. And, in order for them to survive, Republicans are going to have to figure out exactly what they want their message to be and how they are going to deliver it without alienating even more people. And they are going to have to do it quickly, because we are not a sedentary nation!

Genetic Pasta (Originally Published on 1-22-2009)

Okay - the following paragraph is from my great friend Dr. Jamie O'Rourke, PhD. She basically looks at a ton of gene information all day long, and was emailing me earlier using terms I've never heard. Being the curious person, I asked her what the pasta words were ("Bonferroni" sounds like a pasta type name!), and she sent the following explanation:

A parser is a program that goes through a file and pulls out the relevent information you've told it to get. You just have to spell out the format of the document you're intending to parse and make sure it's uniform. Bonferroni statistics is a statistical test to determine what is present more often than would be expected. I'm running the statistics on GO #'s, which are gene ontology terms - a defined set of universal terms to explain the function of gene products.

Major Ed Freeman - a True Hero (Originally Published on 7/21/2009)

A recent email has been re-circulated, stating that Ed Freeman died the same day as Michael Jackson, and that we should not be honoring pop stars when such more obvious heroes deserve recognition. It is unfortunate that Ed Freeman's memory is being manipulated this way, and I thought it was important to make sure everyone knew the real story. Maj. Freeman actually passed away in August of 2008, and the following is what happened when he received the Medal of Honor.

At a White House ceremony in July 2001, Ed Freeman was presented with the Medal of Honor by President George W. Bush. President Bush said of Freeman on that occasion:

By all rights, another president from Texas should have had the honor of conferring this medal. It was in the second year of Lyndon Johnson's presidency that Army Captain Ed Freeman did something that the men of the 7th Calvary have never forgotten. Years passed, even decades, but the memory of what happened on November 14, 1965 has always stayed with them. For his actions that day, Captain Freeman was awarded the distinguished Flying Cross, but the men who were there, including the commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Bruce Crandall, felt a still higher honor was called for. Through the unremitting efforts of Lieutenant Colonel Crandall and many others and the persuasive weight from Senator John McCain, the story now comes to its rightful conclusion.
That story began with a battalion surrounded by the enemy in one of Vietnam's fiercest battles. The survivors remember the desperate fear of almost certain death. They remember gunfire that one witness described as the most intense he had ever seen, and they remember the sight of an unarmed helicopter coming to their aid. The man with the controls flew through the gunfire not once, not 10 times, but at least 21 times. That single helicopter brought the water, ammunition and supplies that saved many lives on the ground, and the same pilot flew more than 70 wounded soldiers to safety.
General Eisenhower once observed that when you hear a Medal of Honor citation, you practically assume that the man in question didn't make it out alive. In fact, about 1 in 6 never did, and the other five, men just like you all here, probably didn't expect to. Citations are also written in the most simple of language, needing no embellishment or techniques of rhetoric. They record places and names and events that describe themselves. The medal itself bears only one word and needs only one, valor.
As a boy of 13, Ed Freeman saw thousands of men on maneuvers pass by his home in Mississippi. He decided then and there that he would be a soldier. A lifetime later the Congress has now decided that he's even more than a soldier because he did more than his duty. He served his country and his comrades to the fullest, rising above and beyond anything the Army or the nation could have ever asked. It's been some years now, since he left the service and was last saluted. But from this day, wherever he goes, by military tradition, Ed Freeman will merit a salute from any enlisted personnel or officer of rank.
Commander Seevers, I'll now ask you to read this citation of the newest member of the Congressional Medal of Honor Society, and it'll be my honor to give him his first salute. Ed Freeman's Medal of Honor citation reads as follows:
Captain Ed W. Freeman, United States Army, distinguished himself by numerous acts of
conspicuous gallantry and extraordinary intrepidity on 14 November 1965 while serving with
Company A, 229th Assault Helicopter Battalion, 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile). As a flight
leader and second in command of a 16-helicopter lift unit, he supported a heavily engaged
American infantry battalion at Landing Zone X-Ray in the Ia Drang Valley, Republic of
Vietnam. The unit was almost out of ammunition after taking some of the heaviest casualties
of the war, fighting off a relentless attack from a highly motivated, heavily armed enemy force.
When the infantry commander closed the helicopter landing zone due to intense direct enemy
fire, Captain Freeman risked his own life by flying his unarmed helicopter through a gauntlet
of enemy fire time after time, delivering critically needed ammunition, water and medical
supplies to the besieged battalion. His flights had a direct impact on the battle's outcome by
providing the engaged units with timely supplies of ammunition critical to their survival,
without which they would almost surely have gone down, with much greater loss of life. After
medical evacuation helicopters refused to fly into the area due to intense enemy fire, Captain
Freeman flew 14 separate rescue missions, providing life-saving evacuation of an estimated
30 seriously wounded soldiers — some of whom would not have survived had he not acted. All
flights were made into a small emergency landing zone within 100 to 200 meters of the
defensive perimeter where heavily committed units were perilously holding off the attacking
elements. Captain Freeman's selfless acts of great valor, extraordinary perseverance and
intrepidity were far above and beyond the call of duty or mission and set a superb example of
leadership and courage for all of his peers. Captain Freeman's extraordinary heroism and
devotion to duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great
credit upon himself, his unit and the United States Army.

Mom (Originally Published on 5/9/2010)

What's in a mom?
That is the thought that has been floating around in my head today - predictable, I know, but it is inevitable.
So - what's in a mom? I have many mom's to look to for information on this question. Here, therefore, are some things that are in the moms that I know....
1. Everlasting patience in the face of hardship, attitudes, and downright disrespect. I look back on many things I've said to my mom throughout my life, and I deeply regret them. How is it that she had the patience to let me get it all out, take a momet (or thirty!), and then calmly let me know that even though I'm a punk sometimes, she still loves me??
2. The fortifude to keep on going, one step at a time, getting through each "next thing" that happens. One of my best friends said the other day that all she wants is a week, one week, where she can get through without something happening to someone that she loves, be it one of her children, her spouse, her family or friends. And yet, every time that next thing happens, Amanda accepts it, deals with it, and moves forward with a smile on her face. Even on days when she is at her wit's end, she still has a loving word and smile for those around her - especially her children.
3. A peace with what was, what is, and hope for what will be. My sister, who has three gorgeous children (who have the BEST AUNT EVER!!), has never had what one would call an "easy" life. Granted, it hasn't been as bad as some, but it also hasn't been great. However, she is the queen of taking a whole gigantic bucket full of lemons and making some of the best tasting lemonade you've ever had. She owns who she is, where she's been, and what she's done, and has made herself a beautiful life, full of wonderful people and a gorgeous family. She is my bestest (yes it is a word today) of friends, and I can't wait to see what she conquers next.

And to those who I know and love who aren't true mothers, your hearts are loving, you foster peace and joy and happiness in those around you, and you are always looking out for any to whom you can offer help in some way. You have the best parts of being moms in you, and cannot do anything but admire and love you for it.

Reflections on Ten Years (Originally Posted on 9/11/11)

This past weekend marked a momentous anniversary for us all, and the past few months have seen nothing but retrospectives on the occasion.  We all remember where we were, who we talked to, what we did, and how we coped. I've had the thoughts in my head for weeks now about all of these things, and also about how I want to mark them. I've made the conscious decision, though, to not dwell on what happened that day.  It was horrific and scary and so sad that it almost cannot be defined in words, and I do not want to try.  I do, however, want to take a look at what that day brought to my life personally.

We all had so many big things planned on September 10th. Mom & Dad were en route to Dallas to look for a house, preparing for a big transfer cross-country. Nikki was in Florida, excited about starting a new career in the airline industry.  I was in Kansas, looking forward to my senior year at KU. All plans that would begin to unravel oh-so-quickly.

At the time that each came apart, they seemed to each of us tragic and insurmountable. Mom and Dad began the crazy journey that would mean job change after job change and a move back to Salt Lake.  Nikki's plans would basically be cut off at the pass by circumstances that changed the airline and travel industry forever. And me.... well.... I would have to come to terms with something that I had been in denial about for quite some time - that all of my best laid plans were built on quickly shifting sands.

The amazing part about unforeseen changes is that, if you are strong enough and if you have the family and friends set around you to help leap over the hurdles, you will always come out on the other side a stronger person.

My parents have come out of the fog and found themselves in Kansas.  They arrived at a time that could not be more perfect in terms of needing to be there for themselves, for the family, and for Nikki and I.  Nikki has emerged with an amazing husband (and the best brother-in-law ever!) and three of the most precious children I've ever had the privilege of knowing.  These children of hers are the lights of my life. When a day is feeling grey and cloudy, all I have to do is get one of them on the phone, or drop by to see them, and it is instantly better.  They give me hope for the future, and their parents couldn't be doing a better job of raising them.

I came out of the gloom in a very strange place.  I became the eternal student for a while, working to fit my passions into my life in a way that would not make me hate them in the end. Finding that balance has been difficult and painful and is still going on every day, but I think it is finally starting to come together.

There have been bumps in the road.  Challenges tossed in front of us time and again.  There is truth in the adage that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.  We learn from the trying times of our lives, finding in the darkness the true light that is within ourselves.  I cannot say what our paths would have been had things happened differently on that fateful day.  I mourn the lives that were lost, and the suffering that has occurred.  However, I also celebrate the perseverance that has enabled us to not only grow, but to thrive.

I Am A Candle

Inspired by:
The Wisdom Way of Knowing by Cynthia Bourgeault
One of my favorite literary images, and one that I’ve read time and again, is that of someone waiting at home for a long-absent loved one, candle burning in the window. That candle shines bright, spilling its beacon of light out into the dark night, staving away all that is evil in hopes that those gone will make it home.

Do you own candles?
I personally am addicted to them. I love everything about them – the different scents, colors, jars, shapes… the living light that they give off as they flicker away…. The comforting warmth they bring…. I just love candles.

Have you ever thought about the life of a candle? So much work goes into their creation…. Melting, coloring and scenting the wax, then molding it into the shape that is most appropriate for that one candle. Forming the wick, getting it inserted just so. All that time, all that work, getting the candle ready to be.

Here’s my question – why do we have candles? What is their purpose for being?
Sure, some of them are meant to just look pretty, or smell pretty, but the basic purpose, the basic reason the candle is created is to provide light. Only, the candle is unable to fulfill that purpose for quite some time. The candle spends most of its life being prepared to be ready for this purpose.

When it is finally time for the candle to do what it is meant to do, it is completely dependent upon another source of fire to be lit. It must wait for something else to come, something else to provide the fire, to become what it is meant to become. Then, as it is finally lit, with wick burning bright and wax becoming fluid and slowly melting away, the candle gets the chance to live, to be what it is supposed to be, to give as only it can truly give.

There are very few things in this world that can change what they are, that change their shape, form, and being. Water is one of the most notable – moving constantly from liquid to solid to gas, around and around, providing sustenance in every form. We drink it when we are thirsty, bathe in it when dirty, cool ourselves with it when we are hot, and soothe ourselves with it when we are weary. Candles also transformed themselves – changing from what would seem to be a fairly useless decorative item to something that speaks of calm, safety, warmth, and home. We, as humans, are also something that can and should change completely, just like that candle. We are born into this world un-formed. We must be molded, shaped, given the tools to eventually provide light to others. Malachai 3:6 says that “Nothing has to be permanent except the Lord… only He changes not.” When the flame of the Spirit finds us, we are meant to give and change everything we are to share the warmth, light, and faith with all who surround us. Just like the candle.

There is, however, something to remember about the candle. To reach its true potential, the candle has to give completely of itself. The wick burns down, slowly disappearing into ash. The wax melts, loosing its beautiful shape and scent, becoming unrecognizable from what it originally was. The candle, and all that it was meant to be, slowly burns out. It leaves only one thing behind – the memory of those beautiful, flickering moments of warmth and safety. Those memories, which can only be provided by the candle, are never forgotten, forever providing moments of comfort, of learning, of leaning, and of holiness.

God is the Tree, and I am the Leaf

The other day, I heard a comment on the radio: “I wonder if leaves are ever afraid of falling – are they afraid of heights?”

It got me thinking – this is the perfect analogy about my relationship with God.

There are so many things that I am always afraid of – so many things that are just as terrifying as the leaf’s autumnal fall from a tree. However, God is always there.

God is there as the tree itself – supporting me at my highest moments. God lets me grow to my fullest potential, performing miraculous things every day.
And, while all of this growth is happening, God is building me, just like that tree builds it’s leaf, to be perfectly formed and capable of handling the fall.

Leaves are so perfectly shaped that, when autumn comes and the leaves change and have to face that terrifying disconnection from all of the support they can see, they drift gently, oh so gently, to the ground. Just because the leaf thinks it has been cut off from the tree doesn’t mean it has – the tree is always there, giving the leaf everything it needs to safely drift to the ground.

Days

Most days flow slowly,
With everything feeling lowly.
One after another,
With little care for one another,
They pass so quickly by.

But the lights shine through occasionally,
Illuminating what happiness there is.
My breath is held,
My feelings meld,
And I hold them to me so tightly.

People

What is it about people that makes us so insane? And not only people, but our relationships with them. It is relationships, I firmly believe, that completely drive our lives. If it is an existing relationship, we are constantly re-adjusting who and what we are to compensate for the other person. If it isn’t an existing relationship, we are constantly questioning who and what we are to figure out WHY it isn’t yet a relationship. It is incredibly maddening.

Why is it that we place so much store in these things? Why do we constantly insist that who we are is completely based on someone else?

I have tried my hardest to move away from this. I have fought and fought for my independence, as superficial as it may seem at times. I have worked hard, so hard, to gain what little I have, all while standing on my own two feet.

And yet, get me around someone who interests me, someone who seems to have interest in me, and it all turns to crap. I find myself second guessing who I am, what I do. Asking myself what I did wrong. How I screwed up something so simple. Why I let myself get so invested in something so simple.

Always asking… guessing… doubting… questioning… rehashing… not sleeping…

Unhealthy? Yes.

And yet, what would we be without this constant give and take? What reason would we have for pondering who and what we are? What motive would we have for thinking about how we can become better or different? To be static is never a good thing. Living in the same unending, chair-spinning loop of life only serves to make you dizzy. To move forward, to break the cycle, it is necessary to take those chances, make the changes, and to question yourself.

Will it turn around and kick you in the ass? More than likely, and probably more than once. However, what else would you do? Live with your same old life, that never changes, never progresses? I guess it is up to us to decide – is it worth the potential pain to search for the possibility of more?

Quote of the Day....

"And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress adventure." -Dumbledore

Faith is Like a Box of Chocolate...

Or, as this case may be, the life of chocolate.
When recently asked to write a devotional for a UMW meeting, that was going to take place at a chocolate shop, I felt inspired to find some way to incorporate our location. This is what I came up with....

My spiritual life is easily comparable to the life of chocolate. My spiritual life started at birth, as does my comparison, but the metaphor is easily transferable to any spiritual journey, regardless of the age it starts at.

Let's start at the beginning, with the cocoa tree. Cocoa trees are evergreens, and very delicate. so delicate, in fact, that they must have other trees planted nearby to provide protection from sun, fungi and bugs, much as we need other people of faith to protect us from birth to confirmation.

The cocoa tree grows 30-40 pods a year, but never all at once. The cocoa trees, much like young Christians, are always growing in some way, constantly producing pods to be harvested. This is also much like how a growing Christian is always learning new concepts, ideas, and pieces of their faith.

Next is the harvest. This, due to the tree's fragility, must be done from the ground, by hand, with specially made tools. Much like confirmation, each pod - or person - is individually cut from the tree, becoming an individual but still part of the larger whole.

After being harvested, each pod is split by hand, and the beans and surrounding pulp are extracted. They are then piled with the other pods' content, covered with banana leaves, and left to ferment in the equatorial heat. Imagine yourself as one of those beans, surrounded by the pulpy-knowledge of your church family, blanketed with the love of God, and left alone with the enzymes and yeasts of your curiosity about this thing called "faith". In the life of a cocoa bean, the more time spent in this stage of development, the more flavor and complexity you have. The longer amount of time you give to this pursuit of knowledge, of "flavor", the higher your value becomes in the future.

And then, the beans are stripped of their pulp, left alone in the sun to dry. This is much like when we complete confirmation. We, at this point, have all the necessary basics to become amazing chocolate - or Christians. However, there is more that must be done to really be great.

The next four steps, I believe, are representative of our lives as adult Christians. Just listen to the words that are used to describe them: roasting, hulling, crushing, refining.
If you are anything like me, these words immediately evoke thoughts and memories of times of emotional, physical, and spiritual trials in your life. I've felt like I was roasting under other's scrutiny of my faith and life choices. I feel as though my hard-shelled exterior, or hull, has been broken down many times, my spirit crushed, feeling each time it happened that I would never recover, but always having my faith pull me through the void. And finally, there is the realization that all this has only helped to refine my faith, my life, my spirituality into the most complex, most smooth, most delicious of people.

Think about the best taste of chocolate you've ever had. Was there only one flavor, or was it a beautiful conglomeration of tastes, textures, and smells? This is who we are as Christians - always growing, cultivating new fruit, influencing the growth of others, and consequentially becoming better than we were. Yet, despite this all, we never really change from that simple, fragile tree that needs constant protection from the harshness of life.

Todays Funnies....

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problem, document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the "gripe sheets" before the next flight Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (P) and the solutions recorded (M) by the maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident....

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. M: Almost replaced left inside tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. M: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit. M: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield. M: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. M: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak in right main landing gear. M: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. M: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. M: That's what friction locks are for.'

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. M: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. M: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. M: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. M: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right andbe serious.

P: Target radar hums. M: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. M: Cat installed.

and the best for last...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. M: Took hammer away from midget.

Bumper Sticker of the week:

Bumper Sticker of the week:
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.

Today's Snowflake...

I'll never forget...

How many times can you say that you are waking up to a changed world? I can count the times that I have on one hand, and most of them are not good. Our new President elect touched on this last night, when discussing what the 106 year old female voter had seen in her lifetime, and that got me thinking – how many truly world-changing events have I been around to witness?

How do we recognize these events? Most often they are the “I’ll never forget where I was when…” moments. “I’ll never forget where I was when Challenger exploded.” “I’ll never forget where I was when the Berlin Wall fell.” “I’ll never forget where I was when we went to war with Iraq – both times.” “I’ll never forget where I was when the twin towers fell.”

I’ll never forget where I was when we elected the first African American President of the United States.

I mean, wow. What a way to top the “I’ll never forgets”. All I can hope now is that we continue to top ourselves with the positives instead of the negatives, that we keep moving forwards, and that we never forget what it means to all of us that we can be proud to be who we are, to believe what we believe, and to live the lives we do.

Rest in Peace, Michael Crichton

I just found out that Michael Crichton passed away today, and it is one of those things that just hits unexpectedly. I've enjoyed so thoroughly the world of SciFi through his writing. He was an amazing author who will be greatly missed, but who also has the fortune of living forever through his writing.

Rest in Peace.