Monday, May 4, 2009

Todays Funnies....

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problem, document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the "gripe sheets" before the next flight Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (P) and the solutions recorded (M) by the maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident....

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. M: Almost replaced left inside tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. M: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit. M: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield. M: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. M: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak in right main landing gear. M: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. M: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. M: That's what friction locks are for.'

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. M: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield. M: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. M: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. M: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right andbe serious.

P: Target radar hums. M: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. M: Cat installed.

and the best for last...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. M: Took hammer away from midget.

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1 comment:

Brandy said...

OMG, I laughed so hard I cried. I had to copy and send to my brother-in-law who is a pilot for Delta.

July 17, 2009 at 7:02 PM

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~ Mel's Movie of The Week ~

The movie this week is The Holiday, staring Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Jack Black.
This is one of those amazing romantic comedies that isn't so heavy that you can't get some fun out of it, but it also isn't so light that you have felt you wasted two hours of your life (or in my case, many many more!!).
First off - I know everyone hates Jude Law, because he's all annoying and stuff, but man, those eyes. And then, when he puts on the glasses, well, I could honestly care less about his real-life personality! One of the most touching scenes in this movie is when he is trying to explain how hard it is for him to find a life outside being a single parent, and not be totally unfair to those he meets or, most importantly, his children.
My other favorite in this movie is Jack Black. Before I saw the film I had some serious doubts. I mean, seriously, could the master of The Pick of Destiny really pull off a role like this, without it becoming a total farce?? The answer is a resounding YES. Thankfully, though, we still get some great "classic Jack" in the Blockbuster scene, with him enthusiasticaly singing theme songs from movie classics to a quite embarrassed Kate Winslet.
All in all, I could watch this movie over and over and over again, each time wishing that I had the movie guy in my head narrating my life too, so I could have some clue as to what I should do next!
Rent it now, because you won't be sorry, and enjoy!!